Covid had changed our lives and it prevented me from going home for more than three years. During the past three years, my hope of going back has been up and down with Covid news and policies in China. Fear has been built up with disappearing hope. Fear of the unknown, the uncertainty, and a country that I no longer understand.

疫情三年，三年半没回家了，上次回去还是2019年的夏天。疫情这三年使我对这个国家越来越陌生，熟悉的只有视频中父母的笑脸。每每提到回国，心里就充满了向往和恐惧，想回去吗？说不清楚…

I began to find excuses not to go back. I prayed to God to give me peace for a decision when it is the right time. God’s timing is definitely NOT our timing. While I was refusing, Sunday Dec 4th, God put this idea in my head to go back in Dec, NOW! In less than 30 mins, I was convinced and felt peace with the decision. Unbelievable…BOOM! Bought the one way ticket the same day leaving in 6 days!

最近一直关注疫情的政策，回国可以考虑了，但还是决定不下来。12月4日一大早，不知道哪里来的冲动，回去！算算时间，要马上走，陪妈妈过一次生日。订票，10号出发去洛杉矶，11号飞天津。这么久的决定没想到一个早上就搞定了，票也买了！感谢神！

While I was having a hard time dealing with the decision, I found myself busy preparing for the trip. What a stressful 5 days: getting work all sorted out while I am gone, buying things, checking on covid rules in China, getting covid test, packing, getting my kids their Christmas gifts…Erik has been so patient with me the whole time trying to help me calm down.

繁忙的一周：安排工作，买东西，查回国的各项要求和政策，找行李箱打包，还要上班、做饭，好在这周的碗好像都是老艾用洗碗机刷的，帮了我不少 ：）

Dec 9, 2022 Got covid test and obtained green code for boarding to China 核酸检测拿绿码

Dec 10, 2022 Los Angeles

Buffet before leaving. No good food for the next couple of days. 出发前自助餐吃的饱饱的！

2:40pm left my home and got to the airport, the trip began 下午2点40离开家，开始了回国之旅

Got to the hotel. Met the mom who needed help tomorrow. She stayed with me for the night. Her daughter asked for help in the 1211 flight wechat group. I volunteered. The social media is powerful. Each flight to China has its own social group where people share information and help each other.

晚上入住酒店，接上一个不认识的、不懂英文的刘阿姨和我同住，明天帮她登机。

Dec 11/12, 2022 Los Angeles- China

Got up around 6:30am Western time. Hit the gym for an hour and left for the airport. 早上健身房、洗澡、去机场

Met another someone’s mom who also needed help. I had been so busy before boarding taking care of these two ladies, making sure all the documents and QR codes were applied and showed at different checkpoints …met another girl who was almost panic not being able to get the green covid code for checking in. I calmed her down and helped her through the application and checked in…they were all so grateful that all of them wanted to buy me lunch. We fought “Chinese style” which I didn’t miss but was so familiar with :)

到机场，接上另一个需要帮忙的袁姐，带着刘阿姨、袁姐一步步的办手续。还是申请了许多码、截图，不停地查…

一个女孩子急的手发抖，不知怎么申请绿码，我一边安慰她一边帮她申请，她也顺利拿到登机牌，急着感谢请我午饭 ：）

Not until we were all boarded, I got a chance to rest. 13.5 hrs flight ahead of me! I was tired but happy that God gave me opportunities to serve.

登了机才算坐下喘了口气，开始13个半小时的飞行。

First time to see real “Dabai” in person. They are nice ones. 第一次见大白，他们很友好。

Airplane meals are a box of snacks with three bottles of water, reason for buffet before leaving.路途小零食，不给饭了。

If getting on the plane was a process, getting off it was a journey by itself. From landing to checking in the quarantine hotel, it was 6 hours total, waiting to get off, waiting for covid test, waiting to get on a bus to get luggage, waiting to get off the bus to get luggage, waiting for our luggage to be sprayed, waiting to check in…by the time we checked in, it was already after the midnight.

从下飞机到酒店6个小时，倒是顺利，就是耗时。

“欢迎回家”…“战役必胜”…好像第一次在现实生活中看到标语中有“战役”这个词。Quarantine hotel is less than 7km from home. 隔离酒店离我家不到7公里。大白消杀我们的行李。

Me and my new friends. Hotel room is ok. Not very clean but acceptable. Set up my food corner and workout station. :) 一路上有刘阿姨和袁姐，我们成了好朋友，互相帮助。酒店还可以，可以看到东站，就是不是很干净，但面积不小，有地方让我铺好我锻炼用的“瑜伽垫儿” 。第一晚40元的夜宵和房间提供的必需品。

Dec 13, 2022 First day of quarantine 隔离第一天

Went to bed around 3am after a hot shower. Woke up around 8am, not bad at all. Exercised, ate, caught up with friends, updated this blog and got tired early…

锻炼，和朋友说话，吃饭，写日记，睡觉…时间不够用的啊

Dec 14, 2022 Second day of quarantine 隔离第二天

Had a good night of sleep. Checked returned ticket today, exercised and read about Yellowknife.

昨晚睡的很好，今天看了回美国的机票，锻炼，查看黄刀…时间不够用的啊

Dec 15-16， 2022 Third and fourth day of quarantine 隔离第三天和第四天

Uneventful days, but so relaxing. I didn’t accomplish what’s on my plan but took the time to be lazy. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been this lazy, but it felt good. I did get my exercise in.

First covid test came back negative. They took the sample again the next day. Hope to get out tomorrow.

两天很快过去，除了锻炼，其他计划的事情没怎么完成，第一次感觉懒懒的很舒服，都不记得我以前有过这样的日子，还不错 ：）第一次核酸阴性，第二次取了样，明儿阴性就应该可以走了。啥都没干就隔离完了，呵呵…

Borrowed someone’s idea for a humidifier. It has been so dry. 简易空气加湿器

Dec 17, 2022 Last day of quarantine 隔离最后一天

I woke up around 5am and checked the test result. Negative, nice!

I got up, exercised, showered and changed into fresh clothes. I could feel the freedom was waiting for me. I felt like a prisoner ready to go out, little excited and looking forward to the moment. Well, out there is actually more dangerous than the hotel room…everyone has covid in their families.

It has been a long day waiting to be released. my brother came to pick me up at 7:10pm after they told me I could go. My two neighbor friends, two older ladies, carried my suitcases and walked me to the elevator and we said final good bye. My brother wasn’t feeling well, so we both had our masks on and the next day he was tested positive.

I got home and finally saw my parents after leaving the US for a week. Thank you God for protecting me the whole way home! Thank you my brothers and sisters who have been praying for my trip!

一大早5点起来查了核酸结果，阴性，要被释放啦！没想，过程漫长，直到晚上6点半才打电话说可以走。刘阿姨、袁姐对我恋恋不舍，冒着被大白数落的风险，送我到电梯口。哥哥来接我，不舒服，我俩都戴口罩，他转天阳。

不到8点进家们，见到了三年半没见的父母，他们老了很多。唉，父母老了，真的是要多回家了。感谢神的保守，一路平安回家，感谢弟兄姐们的祷告。

Five days of quarantine (WHY? )

I am grateful that the hotel room has a good bed and enough blanket, my room is not close to the elevator, I had quiet neighbors, food was delivered each day, my neighbor friends shared their water and breakfast with me, there was a big towel for me to use as yoga mat that I was able to exercise everyday, hotel had hot water for shower, the drain of my sink worked again after I used chopsticks to fix it, good view of outside.

Even though I think it is ridiculous to quarantine people like us who tested negative before boarding and after landing, while everyone else in the city is getting covid, AND, we are either picked up by people with covid or going back to a family with covid, it IS a good experience. I wouldn’t request it again, but to be part of what China is experiencing makes me feel home.

First day lunch and dinner

Daily Lunch

感恩：房间离电梯远很安静，邻居朋友互相关爱，床和被子很舒服，每天有人送吃的，有空间锻炼，可以洗热水澡，窗外景色很好，水池堵了但筷子捅一捅一直很好用。

虽然觉得被隔离很荒谬，满大街的阳，隔离我们这些阴的，而且要不接我们这些回家的很多都是阳，要不就是会回到阳的家里，但是这次回国从买票到隔离还是一段难忘的经历，体会了国内政策以及实施的混乱，也目睹了遇到困难的无助，对政策波及到的老百姓更添几分同情，希望一切会更好。

Dec 18 - 22, 2022

Home with mom and dad for four days. It has been challenging for me since my mom pays full attention on me 24/7, telling me what to do and what to eat all the time. I do miss home, but I am not sure I miss being told what to do all the time…oh well, that’s mom.

I went out almost everyday either for a bike ride or a walk, to places that I was familiar with. Tianjin has more than 13 million people now, but the streets and shops are all empty. It feels like everyone got covid. Every time I went out, I saw at least one 911 vehicle, which in the past maybe one in many months. Most shops are closed. Some are open with full service, some are open with some service. It is a sad scene. Wherever you go, you can hear people coughing.The topic of every chat is about covid…everything covid! It does, at least, have emotional impact on me. For example, I am afraid of taking off my mask even when I am outside biking or walking with nobody around. I feel like I do believe that if you wave the covid test thing in the air, it will show two lines, even though it is supposed to be a joke. Every morning I felt like my throat was tight and would take one Cepacol drop. I am anxious to know when I will get covid.

Shared more Tylenol with a friend’s family today and mailed them out. It is very hard to buy medicine to reduce fever right now. I am glad that I took more than my family needed.

Roasted chestnuts, Tianjin cucumbers, sour berry coated with sugar skews, spicy lamb back bones, Duran…everything I like!

The store where I normally buy sugar free pastries for my dad. Now, employees got covid and couldn’t sell the pastries.

Walked by the place in my parents community where they got daily covid test for more than two months.

Dec 23, 2022

I walked to the school where I went from kindergarten to 6 grade. It looked so small now, but it felt big when I was little. So much memories. I stop by every time I come back to visit.

Covid test station is closed due to the worker is positive hehe…

Nice to see kids playing in the community.

Dec 24, 2022

Nice day today and I decided to bike again. Biked more than an hours to this place full of little shops with different kinds of food and back.

Praise to God that my brother’s family are all negative now. They came over for my mom’s birthday today and it was the first time we were all together on this trip. We had hotpot for dinner. And most importantly, my mom was happy.

Dec 25, 2022

Went to the bank with my dad riding his three wheeler and me walking. Only this way, we could move at the same pace. I am glad he can still ride it.

Another family gathering day. My brother and Linlin carried out two different flavored baked fish from a restaurant. The packing was so good. It had two packs of things that by pouring water on them, they release heat and boiled water. we had good talks during our time together.

Dec 26, 2022

I had a good video conference with my college roommates today. Five of us, two recovered from covid. One has a covid at home. One had a covid last week and me. We decided not to see each other in person since there is still risks for those who haven’t got covid. I enjoyed our three hours of chatting a lot! I missed it.

None covid people are minorities lately and they are the ones that hesitate to go out especially to meet people. I am one of them. on this trip, I only saw one friend so far and we walked outside. I am excited to meet another friend Wednesday who recovered from covid about a week ago. That’s probably it before I leave. I called all my relatives and saw none.

My daily outing is biking to the market. I love it. Some things are really expensive, such as a certain type of strawberries. It is more than $8 a pound. Pine nuts, more than $10 a pound, but they are really good.

Boxed lunch is cheap, less than $2. I may try it later. They look really good.

Dec 27, 2022

We went to see my brother’s new apartment today. A lot of cars now on the streets. Many people recovered from covid. After that, my brother took me to get Peking duck! It was so good.

Chefs are cutting the ducks.

I love to go out to the market in the evenings. It is just as lively as it is during the day. This is something I miss when I am in the US.

Dec 28, 2022

A morning with my best friend Baixue. we have been friends since middle school.

We got Tianjin Jianbing guozi breakfast together.

We planned to walk in a park that we haven’t been to for more than 20 years, but plan changed. She drove me to a place to buy pulse oximeter. Due to Covid, it was very hard to find. Online orders were rare. I put in an order many days ago and is still in warehouse. My friend Emily gave me the information that this place has it. It happened that we talked about it among Sunday Bible study group and two people from the group needed them for their parents. So I volunteered to buy and ship it to them, and that was me and Baixue did the whole morning. The pulse oximeter price is doubled.

I took the metro home. There were more people than I thought and I was worried.

I also went to the bank today, which I regretted. When the person asked me to take off my mask for a picture, I told her that I was worried because I hadn’t been positive. She looked at me and said,”why did you come out? Negative should stay at home. We have people with positive working here…”

I have been in the bank for more than an hour today waiting for my turn. My throat felt tight again and I took a Cepacol. I am nervous now. I wonder if Cepacol helps with sore throat or a worrying heart..hehe…

In the evening, we got the news that a friend’s dad passed away due to Covid. I am sad.

Two more days before I leave. I begin to miss my parents. I wish I could be around and take care of them. It will be hard to leave this time, and it will be harder and harder since they are getting older and older…

Dec 29-30, 2022

Last two days, I took extra caution not to go any place indoor anymore.

I have been nervous as the time of leaving is getting close. It will be a hassle if I get a fever now. But praise God, I am still ok, even though each day, my throat was tight, and either Cepacol or Cold Eeze helped me.

While biking home from the market, I saw the old style popcorn seller! Last time I saw it might be years ago. My favorite fried dough breakfast. Tianjin shaowo green radish . Soooo good!

Bought kids’ favorite dabing for their breakfast, dabing jidan 买给老二老三的大饼做大饼鸡蛋

Dec 31, 2022 Tianjin - Korea - US

Got up early and left home around 8:30am. I am so grateful that me and my parents have been healthy for the past two weeks together and I feel good today to travel. It is a miracle and God has been with us.

By today, the streets almost get as busy as before. Three weeks here, I experienced Tianjin people rapidly getting covid and recovered from it. I saw the empty stores and streets, and I saw vendors with lines and streets full of cars. I sent out medicine for five different friends, pulse oximeter for two. What an experience!

Mom wanted a picture before I left home.

起飞后看到的天津，萧条的机场。两个小时的航班大韩还给了热乎乎的食品。国航13小时一包即食食品。Tianjin seen in the air. Airport looks empty. Food for 2 hours flight.

Free nap room in Seol, Korea. 5 hours layover.

After more than 24 hours of travel, I am safely home. What a trip! God has been with me the whole time, leading me and protecting me. I am so grateful!